It Will Never Happen To Us

She smoked her first cigarette behind the church. Drank her first beer in junior high. I thought, she must be someone else's daughter. It couldn't happen on my well manicured street or in our church. But it did.
Our suspicions had been confirmed on an early spring afternoon last year. It was one of those beautiful warm days I usually really enjoy. When I answered the door to find the mother of my daughters best Friend, I saw that worry covered her face, and her rapid wards tumbled over themselves. "The girls skipped school again-- I think that they are high-- my daughter refused a drug test."
After shutting the door I turned to our daughter, who was standing by the kitchen sink, she casually downed another glass of water, hoping to dilute the results of any analysis. Sarcastically she denied all allegations. "Let's go, test me right now!" she demanded, apparently feeling safe in dishonest compliance. Today we sent our daughter to California to a drug and alcohol assessment. Our hopes have been put on hold. We have a war to fight and I fear my daughters life. An addiction to drugs and alcohol could keep her in bondage for years.

This is part of an article that I read today. The parents of this child are devastated and like they said, "We have a war to fight." This brings up a couple of questions that have been asked of myself and probably many other youth ministers.

How Soon Do I Talk To My Kids About Drugs?
This is just my opinion so take it for that. Many may not agree. I believe that parents must start talking to their kids at a young age. You don't have to go into great detail about the different kinds of drugs out there in the world. Just let them know that drugs are not good for them and they should stay away from them. Do not think that it can not happen to you and your family, it can. The National Institute on Drug Abuse says that 80% of high school seniors have used alcohol, and 5.1 million Americans between the ages of 12 and 20 are binge or heavy drinkers. In today's world kids in elementary school know more that we think they do. It is most likely that sooner or later all of our kids will be approached to use drugs. They have to be prepared, they need to know the truth. We told Dylan that he needs to watch out for rattle snakes, that they could be dangerous. We never went into that their are different kinds of snakes and not all snakes are dangerous. When he seen a snake beside our house one day, he assumed that it was a rattle snake and took off running and came and got me. I feel that maybe drugs are the same way. Tell your kids drugs and alcohol can be dangerous, let them know that at a young age.When the are approached hopefully because of that the will RUN from it. The main thing is do not lose communication, that is hard when they become teens, but find a way to keep that communication open. Don't think that the above story can not happen to you, and your family, it can. Kids will know about drugs one way or another. They will either learn about them from you the parent, or from a drug user in a back alley, and it will suprise you how young that drug dealer or user may be. We as parents must beat them to the punch, talk to them about drugs before that drug dealer or user gets to them first. That is why I say talk to them when thier young, and I mean 1st and 2nd grade, the drug users and dealers are looking at kids this young.

We have been studying on Monday mornings in our men's prayer group about falling away. We read this morning in our book that it is more likely for young males to fall away. I was asked how do we stop this? How do we raise our kids in a way that they will not fall away. I don not know if there is a perfect formula for that. Our book said that 16% of teens will fall away. That is really scary to me. I have learned a few things in the past year.

1. Don't push too hard. You can push them away:
2. Don't stop pushing them to know how important God is in their life
3. (Sounds contradicting?) I believe that there is a fine line. Don't push too hard, Encourage and Love. Do not condemn. But never give up on someone.
4. Let them see the example. Show them how important God is in your life. Let them know the great things that God has done for you because of your faith.
5. If you have a story tell them. If you were once unfaithful, tell them how much better your life is now than it was before.
6. Let them know that we all make mistakes, but we must keep "Trying" and no matter what happens you will always love them, and Jesus and God will always love them as well. There is nothing my children can do that will stop me or God from loving them, they must know this.

It took me a while to realize not to push too hard. Love and Encouragement goes really far. I pray for my children, that I am raising them in a way that they will always stay faithful. My kids are great, they love to go to church. Dylan cries when he is sick and can not be there. Kyla goes when we are sick and can't be there. I think that is great. I am blessed with wonderful children.